Ways to tell if you are Chinese

Ways to tell if you are Chinese

Compiled by 嚙踝蕭嚙踝蕭嚙踝蕭

(Malaysian-Chinese Edition)

You drive a Honda Civic handed down by your father.

Your Honda Civic's engine have been change or overhaul, whichever is cheaper.

Your Honda Civic is older than you.

You study in a college.

You like to eat chicken feet.

You've worn glasses since you were in Standard 6.

You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.

You look like you are 18, 16 if you shave often.

You always have water or ice chinese tea only when dining out.

You have a large collection of Vivian Hsu wallpaper and pictures (including those rated 18+ only).

You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.

You always add the word 'Ah' when calling names. For example, 'Ah Joanne' or 'Ah Hui Ling'.

You eat family dinners with the TV on.

You suck on fish heads to get the brains and fish fins.

You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts plus another 20-30 cousins, nephews and nieces all over asia.

You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.

You take showers at night.

Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster ("Guy Mo So")

You cut your hair at an Indian barber shop.

You hate to spend more than RM 3.00 for lunch.

You go to Petaling Street or Pasar Malam.

You refuse to use the valet at Sungai Wang.

You have a great love for pirated VCDs.

You love to go to RM 7.00 movies.

You love to go to RM 5.00 movies even more!

You would rather buy pirated VCDs if the movie cost more than RM 7.

What the hell is chop suey?

You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.

You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.

You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.

You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer although you're not drunk.

You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.

You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.

You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.

You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.

You can't bear to throw away things.

Your house smells like chinese medicine.

You've never kissed your mom or dad.

You've never hugged your mom or dad.

Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.

You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".

You had a bowl cut before.

If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for a couple of days.

If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged, you go your merry way.

Your hair sticks up when you wake up.

You get a rush from getting a good deal especially at Petaling Street.

You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you RM 5 for that car")

You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.

You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice from concentrate.

You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.

You'll drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.

You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.

You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to produce you and your siblings.

You've never seen your parents kiss.

You've never seen your parents hug.

Your grandmother lives with you and your family.

You tip 15% or less.

You never order dessert at restaurants.

You try not to use the bellhop, for fear of tipping.

You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.

You want your dollar back from the friend who borrowed it right away.

Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.

Your parents want to live with you when they are old.

You tap the table with 2 fingers when someone pours tea for you.

You point to your nose when referring to yourself.

You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.

You love to play Mahjong.

You want to marry chinese.

Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faan nei lah?")

You get the rotan treatment if you are being punished by your parents.

You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.

Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.

You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.

Your parents hate cheese.

[嚙褊愛嚙衛問專嚙瘩嚙緘嚙踝蕭] - [Joymail]

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